Sundays are pretty eventful. As soon as the alarm goes off, I have to wake up, get ready, make breakfast, get kids ready and be out the door at an exact time to be able to get to church to open and let all the team members in. I have the honor of serving in Kids ministry along the most loving, committed and resilient people that specially during a pandemic they have chosen to remain committed to their individual calling; but the lessons iI’ve learned with them is for another blog entry!
Back to my Sunday adventures … On that specific Sunday I experienced the craziest situation, every time I remember my body reacts in such a way that I know it affected me or touched me in a way that I had to dig deeper and even though I wished it has never happened, It spoke to me so much that I believe is worth sharing.
Let me share with you what happened…
In the middle of one of the services I had to run to a pharmacy and get feminine products so it was an in and out, hurry up, I need it asap situation. I got in, grabbed whatever I needed and went to make the line, I had 2 people in front of me and 2 more people already paying in the only 2 registers that were open, I was on my phone texting back and forth with one of the teachers making sure everything was running smoothly, when I heard a guy (the one that was paying) Literally screaming, in fact cursing the cashier for not hurrying and telling her to learn to do her job correctly. He was clearly in a rush and treated the cashier so bad that the cashier in her broken English told him: (You are being very disrespectful I am not going to sell you anything). That’s right! (I thought to myself!)
I put my phone away, wanting to pay attention to the whole scene, I really wanted to say something. Personally, I don’t like conflict, but I do like clarity. I’ll often choose to have hard conversations so that things feel sorted out for the peace of the relationship. In this occasion I had no idea who the guy was… Ugh! I wanted to say so much… way too many things that would have clearly come across as rude and not the best example for a girl wearing a T-shirt that says “Serving world changers” lol
But even before trying to say something the guy grabbed the items he was going to buy and threw it all to the floor, took 2 pictures of the cashier and told her: I am going to get you in trouble with corporate you are inefficient! to make the situation worst, his son or grandson was with him, The kid picked up the items, put it on top of the table and left running.
I WAS IN SHOCK as EVERYONE else, it was awkward and so sad, the 2 people in front of me payed and a lady before leaving the store told her: Don’t worry honey you didn’t do anything wrong! I just waited for my turn and asked her if she was okay; She reassured me everything was okay and that It wasn’t the first time He will come and treat someone bad.. She said: That guy has anger issues and needs help. Oh! you bet. I said, and told her: “Don’t worry! The cameras show everything you need no explanation if corporate comes to ask”.
On my way back to church all I could think of was the kid that had to experience his dad’s or grandpa’s attitude and the probable shame he was now carrying because of this experience. See, Mishandled anger not only hurts you but the people you love the most.
Anger just like any other feeling alerts us and that alert allows us to choose a reaction, He clearly exploded and it was in the worst way possible!
Many people believe that all anger is wrong or a sin. As a result, they simply try to ignore it, pushing it down when they feel it. But such a “rational / I need to take care of my image” response is not helpful, for if they continue doing this, in time they will become totally unaware of their anger.
Was his response acceptable? Absolutely NOT but is a clear example of someone that has no control over his emotions and instead of dealing with how He was feeling or what triggered his reaction, He chose to explode in the first person that crossed his path. How many times have we’ve done the same?
The truth is that It has happened to me too. I have hurt the people I love the most because I’ve chosen to be selfish and not stopping to evaluate how I feel. In many occasions it has been an explosion of emotions but in other times and (in my opinion) the most dangerous one, My anger (unresolved hurt) has made me implode and live with that anger internally, judging and allowing bitterness to enter my heart.
The reality is that we have all been there and we will keep on being in situations where anger will be our first feeling and it’s ok ANGER IS AN EMOTION but is important to identify the emotion and deal with it and not feel the emotion and react to it. Why? because mishandled anger can adversely affect your health, self-esteem, relationships, the emotional well-being of your spouse, children, and your productivity at work. On a more extreme scale, it can lead to undesirable behaviors as road rage, domestic violence, self punishment and more! ( I am sure we all have been there or been affected by someone led by anger)
2020 has brought out so many emotions especially anger, I have seen people in the midst of an emotional meltdown, restless, volatile, and tempers about to blow out, clearly because it has not been an easy year but I can also see how it has been an accumulation of built-up stresses. That’s why temper can flare more easily after a frustrating day, watching the news, reading a post or simply having a conversation about politics, religion, you name it. If you let anger and resentments smolder it makes you edgy, quick to snap and easily bothered. We need to mindfully commit to grow and find healthy ways to cope with anger.
I want to invite you today to identify the way you deal with anger, ask your parents, spouse or best friend the following question: How do I respond when I am angry? let them answer, absorb each answer and meditate on it, don’t defend yourself just, analyze it and take it to God. If the answer is: You are never angry or I have never seen you angry! you might be imploding and the pressure might be on your mind and the way you treat and feel about yourself, watch out! imploding saves your image but kills you on the inside!
You can deal with your anger in a healthy way when you accept anger as another emotion that has the power to reveal how you are feeling and allows you to choose how to react to it.EAH
If we want to live everyday like a holiday, we need to commit to be aware of how we feel. Are you angry? Good! I am glad you recognized it, on part 2, I will be sharing some healthy ways to deal with anger and the power of accepting and releasing.
For now remember: Anger is not a mistake, a sin or wrong. Anger is an emotion and emotions are supposed to be felt.
Part 2 coming soon 🙂