Browsing tag: #wellness #motivation #selflove #multitasking #vulnerability #treatyourself #loveyourself #everydayaholiday #onedayatatime #productivity

Sundays are pretty eventful. As soon as the alarm goes off, I have to wake up, get ready, make breakfast, get kids ready and be out the door at an exact time to be able to get to church to open and let all the team members in. I have the honor of serving in Kids ministry along the most loving, committed and resilient people that specially during a pandemic they have chosen to remain committed to their individual calling; but the lessons iI’ve learned with them is for another blog entry!

Back to my Sunday adventures … On that specific Sunday I experienced the craziest situation, every time I remember my body reacts in such a way that I know it affected me or touched me in a way that I had to dig deeper and even though I wished it has never happened, It spoke to me so much that I believe is worth sharing.

Let me share with you what happened…

In the middle of one of the services I had to run to a pharmacy and get feminine products so it was an in and out, hurry up, I need it asap situation. I got in, grabbed whatever I needed and went to make the line, I had 2 people in front of me and 2 more people already paying in the only 2 registers that were open, I was on my phone texting back and forth with one of the teachers making sure everything was running smoothly, when I heard a guy (the one that was paying) Literally screaming, in fact cursing the cashier for not hurrying and telling her to learn to do her job correctly. He was clearly in a rush and treated the cashier so bad that the cashier in her broken English told him: (You are being very disrespectful I am not going to sell you anything). That’s right! (I thought to myself!)

I put my phone away, wanting to pay attention to the whole scene, I really wanted to say something. Personally, I don’t like conflict, but I do like clarity. I’ll often choose to have hard conversations so that things feel sorted out for the peace of the relationship. In this occasion I had no idea who the guy was… Ugh! I wanted to say so much… way too many things that would have clearly come across as rude and not the best example for a girl wearing a T-shirt that says “Serving world changers” lol

But even before trying to say something the guy grabbed the items he was going to buy and threw it all to the floor, took 2 pictures of the cashier and told her: I am going to get you in trouble with corporate you are inefficient! to make the situation worst, his son or grandson was with him, The kid picked up the items, put it on top of the table and left running.

I WAS IN SHOCK as EVERYONE else, it was awkward and so sad, the 2 people in front of me payed and a lady before leaving the store told her: Don’t worry honey you didn’t do anything wrong! I just waited for my turn and asked her if she was okay; She reassured me everything was okay and that It wasn’t the first time He will come and treat someone bad.. She said: That guy has anger issues and needs help. Oh! you bet. I said, and told her: “Don’t worry! The cameras show everything you need no explanation if corporate comes to ask”.

On my way back to church all I could think of was the kid that had to experience his dad’s or grandpa’s attitude and the probable shame he was now carrying because of this experience. See, Mishandled anger not only hurts you but the people you love the most.

Anger just like any other feeling alerts us and that alert allows us to choose a reaction, He clearly exploded and it was in the worst way possible!

Many people believe that all anger is wrong or a sin. As a result, they simply try to ignore it, pushing it down when they feel it. But such a “rational / I need to take care of my image” response is not helpful, for if they continue doing this, in time they will become totally unaware of their anger.

Was his response acceptable? Absolutely NOT but is a clear example of someone that has no control over his emotions and instead of dealing with how He was feeling or what triggered his reaction, He chose to explode in the first person that crossed his path. How many times have we’ve done the same?

The truth is that It has happened to me too. I have hurt the people I love the most because I’ve chosen to be selfish and not stopping to evaluate how I feel. In many occasions it has been an explosion of emotions but in other times and (in my opinion) the most dangerous one, My anger (unresolved hurt) has made me implode and live with that anger internally, judging and allowing bitterness to enter my heart.

The reality is that we have all been there and we will keep on being in situations where anger will be our first feeling and it’s ok ANGER IS AN EMOTION but is important to identify the emotion and deal with it and not feel the emotion and react to it. Why? because mishandled anger can adversely affect your health, self-esteem, relationships, the emotional well-being of your spouse, children, and your productivity at work. On a more extreme scale, it can lead to undesirable behaviors as road rage, domestic violence, self punishment and more! ( I am sure we all have been there or been affected by someone led by anger)

2020 has brought out so many emotions especially anger, I have seen people in the midst of an emotional meltdown, restless, volatile, and tempers about to blow out, clearly because it has not been an easy year but I can also see how it has been an accumulation of built-up stresses. That’s why temper can flare more easily after a frustrating day, watching the news, reading a post or simply having a conversation about politics, religion, you name it. If you let anger and resentments smolder it makes you edgy, quick to snap and easily bothered. We need to mindfully commit to grow and find healthy ways to cope with anger.

I want to invite you today to identify the way you deal with anger, ask your parents, spouse or best friend the following question: How do I respond when I am angry? let them answer, absorb each answer and meditate on it, don’t defend yourself just, analyze it and take it to God. If the answer is: You are never angry or I have never seen you angry! you might be imploding and the pressure might be on your mind and the way you treat and feel about yourself, watch out! imploding saves your image but kills you on the inside!

You can deal with your anger in a healthy way when you accept anger as another emotion that has the power to reveal how you are feeling and allows you to choose how to react to it.

EAH

If we want to live everyday like a holiday, we need to commit to be aware of how we feel. Are you angry? Good! I am glad you recognized it, on part 2, I will be sharing some healthy ways to deal with anger and the power of accepting and releasing.

 

Wow! Its been a long time or maybe is not that long,  but to think that almost 3 months passed since my last post  sounds like a long time, but this is the beauty of everyday a holiday,  there is no pressure, no timeline or perfect time to post is about sharing my heart and journey when I can and when I want, ‘The I don’t have to, instead is the “I get to” mindset.

The past 3 months have been pretty amazing, I haven’t been lost, I’ve actually been present. personally I experienced some of the most beautiful moments with my family and in ministry; the season came and passed by so fast but I was able to savor each moment and take little breaks between the meetings, the outings, the gatherings to just stop, smile and see what God has done.

For many years I lived rushed running from one side to another trying to finish a lot of things at the same time trying to be efficient and check with a smile my daily To-do’s and that left me exhausted physically and emotionally. but 2018 was so different, so enjoyable… same drama lol more responsibility and bigger challenges but so much joy in the between that I can say I cherished every moment. What a Year!

I just want to encourage you to enjoy your everyday and enjoy to the max the people God has placed in your life.

Today you can focus in the mess of your room or your kids rooms (I’m guilty of that) or notice the way their eyes sparkle when you speak to them with love or the way it feels when you intentionally and with no pressure take time to put your favorite playlist out loud put on your oldest t-shirt (the one with holes) and clean not out of desperation but instead with admiration and a thankful heart for the space and things God has given you.

Today you can begin again and start a new mindset of enjoying your everyday, time passes by whether we like it or not, hardship will come whether we like it or not, consequences to bad decisions can follow us for months or maybe years… But HIS MERCY is renewed every morning. You and I can begin everyday with a fresh new start and perspective.

This year I am not putting all my attention in agendas, high standards and timelines and focusing more in my thoughts, my efforts, what I hope for and who I want to become. Instead of expecting “people” to change I am anticipating growth, celebrating victories and to be an encourager and a cheerleader of maturity and growth and not just CHANGE.

Sometimes we think that what we need is to change, but after so many years of trying to change things about my self and people (guilty of that too) I have learned that change is based on circumstances and if the circumstances change then your “change” is temporary but maturity and growth stays with you permanently because is internal, is a process that changes the way you think because is rooted in a new mindset and lifestyle.

This is the year to look in front of the mirror and say I see you and I love you, a year to wake up the little child dreamer inside of all of us and become the exact person God intended us to be, to grow, mature and walk in his grace.

This year lets commit to feel the belly laugh from our souls,  to be intentional in our relationships, to say thank you, I love you and I am sorry more often, to feel the sun on our faces and accept our present and enjoy it, lets not miss the joy of being alive.

Welcome 2019! we can do this.

Love,  Stephany

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Every time I look at this picture I smile. It might not look like there is a lot happening there but there was definitely a lot going on in my heart. Because I am a professional multitasker it is so easy for me to do lots of things at once; You can easily see me cooking dinner, talking to someone on the phone, washing dishes, laundry being done in the background, kids taking a bath, and to top it off answering any incoming text message while still on the phone. By the time it was time to put my head on the pillow I was drained, mentally exhausted but the thoughts of all the pending to do’s would not let me sleep. Has any of this ever happened to you? That you are so tired but cannot bring yourself to sleep? This had been me for more years than I could count, and yes things were getting done, and being done effectively, but what at what cost?

The cost of being truly present.

This picture means so much to me because I was truly present! I can describe what the weather was like that day because I can still feel it the sun shining on my face; I can talk about the people who where there because I was making eye contact with each of them as I listened to their words instead of hearing the noise they made in conversation. I remember what I was thinking and what was going through my head. Today, I look back at this picture with joy and it makes me look forward with the hope that I can continue to be fully present and feel at peace.

One of the things I have learned throughout my journey of living my everyday as a holiday is that multitasking is not as effective or productive as society tells us it is. The truth is the multitasking is a habit and this bad habit leaves us breathless, anxious, and puts us in a position of doing much more than we need to handle at one time.

We end up busy but not productive.

The key word in “Feeling productive” is “feeling”. You may feel emotionally satisfied and look interesting to others, but is it really happening?

It is interesting to see what Jesus says about worrying, rushing and living life to “get things done”. In Luke 10:42 He said to Martha “Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needful, and Mary has chosen what is better”. In another example Jesus’s words to His disciples remind us to live one day at a time, each moment to its fullest: “Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Mathew 6:33-34).

Sometimes, in different areas of our lives, goals and dreams that we may have or that God has put in our hearts, we think and act like Martha. But I think that behind any true integral success, including your emotional health there is a principle that we must follow and that is to stay still; do one thing at a time and be fully present.

A new day, a new week, a new month knocks at the door of our hearts, so we must make room.
Make room to live simply, laugh freely, think calmly, grow radically, love deeply and depend on God continuously. Making space is key to being present, but to make space you need to let go of toxic thoughts, bad habits and allow God to renew your mind.

God wants us to be successful and productive, not busy and overwhelmed.

He wants us to live life to the fullest not survive through it.

I invite you to let go of any old commitments you have made to yourself that EVERYTHING must be done in one day, or the “ I can’t say no” or “I don’t have time” answers to every question. Let go of addictive or negative behaviors that no longer serve the person (Daughter, son, friend, parent, employee etc) you want to become.

Right there were you are as you are reading this, smile, stop answering messages or scrolling through social media, just shut everything down for a few minutes and ask yourself: What is the one thing, the thing I need most right now that deserves my attention and focus?

There is power in being present so choose to slow down and do the ONE RIGHT THING, and then the next and go on from there. You will be effective, you will get things done but most importantly, you are becoming the best version of yourself, living one day at a time, doing one thing at a time!