When Kids Hurt.

This month I started reading a book called: “When Kids hurt” by Chap Clark & Steve Rabey. As I was reading, I couldn’t help but cry. The loneliness, abandonment and pain our kids and teens are going through is unimanigable.

I have been in ministry specifically working with Kids and youth for the past 17 years and working directly with a recovery program for adults for the past 6 yrs. and I have listened to hundreds Yes, hundreds of stories related to sexual abuse, which is real, happens everyday and most of the kids are so scared and confused that use their own coping mechanisms to deal with their trauma before they decide to talk (Usually when they are adults) and very few get help, real help that allows them to heal and restore their minds and souls to trust, love and live in a healthy way.

This is not something new. As you are reading you might be the one who has faced  physical or sexual abuse or know people that have gone through it. With the recent news of child sex trafficking, sexual abuse, Kids being kidnapped, documentaries and recent arrests not only that has brought you pain and a desire to do something about it but to some, it has brought memories and triggered fear and anger again.

I want you to know that you are not alone.

Read it again, You are not alone.

If emotions have started to come up again, attitudes and in some cases rage to even go back to those moments please share how you feel with someone you trust, ask for help but don’t stay quiet. If you don’t have anyone to talk to please reach out to me, I can connect you with the right tools to find healing and restoration BUT PLEASE DO NOT STAY QUIET.

Since the stories started coming out, I’ve had a knot in my stomach because this is real, this has been happening and still happens as I am writing this and you reading it. KIDS are being abused.

I Thank God that all of the recent news and posts  have given so much exposure on the topic of sex trafficking and has become an open conversation  for many but there’s something that hasn’t leave my heart and I want to share it with you.

The majority of kids being abused are not being shipped in boxes, taken away from their families or being kidnapped (that is another post that I will talk about very soon because child sex trafficking is a reality and we need to talk about it starting at home and church, also there are key people with power that need to hold accountable) 

Child Sexual abuse is happening in our own homes. A family member, a weird uncle or cousin, a baby sitter, a leader parents trusted. Most of the people I have talked to throughout the years were not abused by a celebrity or a stranger, it happened (And to some started) in their own homes, the place that was supposed to be safe.

And this thought hasn’t left my heart: part of saving the children is teaching my own at home. Putting boundaries, open dialogue, naming body parts with their real names, reminding them that at our house we don’t keep secrets and safe adults (I repeat) SAFE adults don’t ask kids to keep secrets and learn to recognize people and situations that are not safe, pornography exposure and equip them to know how to react and be loud when something like that happens.

I am so thankful for books like “When kids hurt” or The “I said no! book” for little ones. These books voice out what as a parent I want to tell my kids and sometimes I just don’t know how.

Our job as parents is to equip our kids and BE there for them. look at their faces, notice their change of routine, the way they act and react over something and EVERYTHING they are watching, following and sharing. Unfortunately sometimes we are just too busy.

Part of saving the children is being present, all heart, all eyes and ears.

I am going to be very honest, I found my self crying over my pillow a few nights ago out of frustration reading the horrendous stories circulating and the truth that I have very little control of it and God reminded me: It’s happening at homes right now and this virus (isolation) is not helping at all. BE LOUD, speak about it and rest in me.

The reality is that we cannot control what is happening around the world, we cannot control what the news are saying or not willing to say (ugh! that’s another post) But what I can control is: How to respond to fear, my thoughts, my beliefs, how I react to media, what I allow in my mind, my attitude and how I choose to help others.

Part of living our Everyday a Holiday is being mindful of what is happening around us, taking time to read, learn and have meaningful conversations especially with our little ones;  Today I want to encourage you to be mindful. and ask yourself: What can I do today?

Sharing your story perhaps?

Asking someone you know that has dealt with abuse how are they feeling?

Confessing to someone you trust what has happened to you?

Praying to God for wisdom and discernment regarding your children?

Putting boundaries at home, get resources?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  and kids are being hurt, and they also need to know that they are not alone.

Let’s commit to spend time with God and ask him for instructions, Let’s stop acting in fear and speak up (yes! starting at home), Let’s stop investing our time in the lies the media is feeding us and let’s invite Jesus into our daily lives and remind ourselves the authority we have in him.

Lastly, let’s remember  what Jesus said: “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father, You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father”  Jhon 14:13

Speak to him, He will instruct you, you just need to choose to have an obedient heart and rest in him. He was, is and will always be there for us, our kids and the kids that today are being hurt.

Stephany.