• Angry?

    Sundays are pretty eventful. As soon as the alarm goes off, I have to wake up, get ready, make breakfast, get kids ready and be out the door at an exact time to be able to get to church to open and let all the team members in. I have the honor of serving in Kids ministry along the most loving, committed and resilient people that specially during a pandemic they have chosen to remain committed to their individual calling; but the lessons iI’ve learned with them is for another blog entry!

    Back to my Sunday adventures … On that specific Sunday I experienced the craziest situation, every time I remember my body reacts in such a way that I know it affected me or touched me in a way that I had to dig deeper and even though I wished it has never happened, It spoke to me so much that I believe is worth sharing.

    Let me share with you what happened…

    In the middle of one of the services I had to run to a pharmacy and get feminine products so it was an in and out, hurry up, I need it asap situation. I got in, grabbed whatever I needed and went to make the line, I had 2 people in front of me and 2 more people already paying in the only 2 registers that were open, I was on my phone texting back and forth with one of the teachers making sure everything was running smoothly, when I heard a guy (the one that was paying) Literally screaming, in fact cursing the cashier for not hurrying and telling her to learn to do her job correctly. He was clearly in a rush and treated the cashier so bad that the cashier in her broken English told him: (You are being very disrespectful I am not going to sell you anything). That’s right! (I thought to myself!)

    I put my phone away, wanting to pay attention to the whole scene, I really wanted to say something. Personally, I don’t like conflict, but I do like clarity. I’ll often choose to have hard conversations so that things feel sorted out for the peace of the relationship. In this occasion I had no idea who the guy was… Ugh! I wanted to say so much… way too many things that would have clearly come across as rude and not the best example for a girl wearing a T-shirt that says “Serving world changers” lol

    But even before trying to say something the guy grabbed the items he was going to buy and threw it all to the floor, took 2 pictures of the cashier and told her: I am going to get you in trouble with corporate you are inefficient! to make the situation worst, his son or grandson was with him, The kid picked up the items, put it on top of the table and left running.

    I WAS IN SHOCK as EVERYONE else, it was awkward and so sad, the 2 people in front of me payed and a lady before leaving the store told her: Don’t worry honey you didn’t do anything wrong! I just waited for my turn and asked her if she was okay; She reassured me everything was okay and that It wasn’t the first time He will come and treat someone bad.. She said: That guy has anger issues and needs help. Oh! you bet. I said, and told her: “Don’t worry! The cameras show everything you need no explanation if corporate comes to ask”.

    On my way back to church all I could think of was the kid that had to experience his dad’s or grandpa’s attitude and the probable shame he was now carrying because of this experience. See, Mishandled anger not only hurts you but the people you love the most.

    Anger just like any other feeling alerts us and that alert allows us to choose a reaction, He clearly exploded and it was in the worst way possible!

    Many people believe that all anger is wrong or a sin. As a result, they simply try to ignore it, pushing it down when they feel it. But such a “rational / I need to take care of my image” response is not helpful, for if they continue doing this, in time they will become totally unaware of their anger.

    Was his response acceptable? Absolutely NOT but is a clear example of someone that has no control over his emotions and instead of dealing with how He was feeling or what triggered his reaction, He chose to explode in the first person that crossed his path. How many times have we’ve done the same?

    The truth is that It has happened to me too. I have hurt the people I love the most because I’ve chosen to be selfish and not stopping to evaluate how I feel. In many occasions it has been an explosion of emotions but in other times and (in my opinion) the most dangerous one, My anger (unresolved hurt) has made me implode and live with that anger internally, judging and allowing bitterness to enter my heart.

    The reality is that we have all been there and we will keep on being in situations where anger will be our first feeling and it’s ok ANGER IS AN EMOTION but is important to identify the emotion and deal with it and not feel the emotion and react to it. Why? because mishandled anger can adversely affect your health, self-esteem, relationships, the emotional well-being of your spouse, children, and your productivity at work. On a more extreme scale, it can lead to undesirable behaviors as road rage, domestic violence, self punishment and more! ( I am sure we all have been there or been affected by someone led by anger)

    2020 has brought out so many emotions especially anger, I have seen people in the midst of an emotional meltdown, restless, volatile, and tempers about to blow out, clearly because it has not been an easy year but I can also see how it has been an accumulation of built-up stresses. That’s why temper can flare more easily after a frustrating day, watching the news, reading a post or simply having a conversation about politics, religion, you name it. If you let anger and resentments smolder it makes you edgy, quick to snap and easily bothered. We need to mindfully commit to grow and find healthy ways to cope with anger.

    I want to invite you today to identify the way you deal with anger, ask your parents, spouse or best friend the following question: How do I respond when I am angry? let them answer, absorb each answer and meditate on it, don’t defend yourself just, analyze it and take it to God. If the answer is: You are never angry or I have never seen you angry! you might be imploding and the pressure might be on your mind and the way you treat and feel about yourself, watch out! imploding saves your image but kills you on the inside!

    You can deal with your anger in a healthy way when you accept anger as another emotion that has the power to reveal how you are feeling and allows you to choose how to react to it.

    EAH

    If we want to live everyday like a holiday, we need to commit to be aware of how we feel. Are you angry? Good! I am glad you recognized it, on part 2, I will be sharing some healthy ways to deal with anger and the power of accepting and releasing.

    For now remember: Anger is not a mistake, a sin or wrong. Anger is an emotion and emotions are supposed to be felt.

    Part 2 coming soon 🙂

  • Angry? – PART 2

    My life changed when my perspective about anger changed. We all experience anger even the most “peaceful person” I learned that if managed in healthy ways, anger can be a positive thing, a red flag that something’s wrong. For me, it became a catalyst for change and humbleness to recognize my need for God.

    The way we deal with anger today was modeled and built at home, maybe you didn’t have positive role models for anger management while growing up and today dealing with anger can be confusing or even scary; Just know, that there are healthy ways to deal with it and the first step is to humbly invite God into this process of accepting anger as another emotion but also examining the way you deal with anger to start making changes that from my personal experience It has the potential to impact your health, relationships and overall happiness.

    What grounds you?

    A playlist, a specific smell, breathing and counting, walking, writing? Have that in mind when you are dealing with anger. 

    Here is an example on how I personally deal with it: I don’t like to be late and when I wake up late (mind you, I chose to go to sleep late and I chose to hit snooze) naturally, I am rushing and rushing anyone that is with me (My husband and kids) my tone is not the same, my answers are short there is a lot of mumbling, checking the time back and forth and constantly saying: we are late, hurry up. Let’s go!… Can you relate?

    YES! I know its annoying and I strongly dislike when people do it to me BUT if I allow myself to get to that point frustration is going to be build up and I will react in anger that will clearly reflect on my face, the way I walk, the way I drive and my perpetual silence. Instead, I have learned to ground myself; If I am late to a commitment, I text immediately to let them know I am late, explain the kids we are late and need their help and (flash power) to do everything fast and promise them a movie in the car lol and the most important thing that (when I actually do it) works!… is to intentionally ground myself. I put my headphones breathe in and out for a minute and listen to music or a podcast as I organize everything I need. Yes, I am silent but I am being mindful of my reactions, my facial expression changes and even my heart rate stabilizes.

    What grounds you? Don’t just think about it, Write it down and share it with someone.

    Express Yourself—Constructively

    “Anger makes your mouth work faster than your heart” yup! no doubt about that, but if you express yourself immediately your words might hurt someone else and my mom has always said this to me: “Never say mean words out of anger, anger will pass but your words can scar a person for life” The truth is that our words have the potential to hurt the people we love the most.

    One of the ways I express myself is writing. (If you could read my phone notes) Ha! no worries, I try to erase those awful, cringing notes after! But for real, Writing has helped me so much when I am angry!

    I just write everything (roaches, scorpios and snakes) might come out in my writing but after I write everything I want to say and I read it, I laughed at myself lol I am able to regroup my thoughts and usually the lord allows me to see my fault or another perspective over the situation. If its something with someone else, I re-write my note and I make myself go, send the text or call the person and tell them.

    It usually starts like this: I didn’t want to write, say, call…. BUT (deep breaths)… I have something to read to you… or I just end up showing up to a coffee date with a paper. It has helped me wonders because I am able to acknowledge the emotion, process it but also release in a healthy way.

    Let it go.

    If you already spoke about it, wrote about it or spoke to someone you trust about it… LET IT GO. Not letting go just shows a deeper issue that you need to deal with God and not hold the other person or situation hostage. Crying to God with the truth has helped me more than talking about an specific situation or person over and over again to someone else at that point it can become gossip!

    If you haven’t been able to let it go is because you haven’t made amends with the person and yourself.

    EAH

    If you can’t stop thinking about it: Ask God to mentor your mind. Let him be the leader and position yourself to follow. When God invites us to renew our minds is more than the ability to think is the ability to choose what to think.

    Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

    Work intentionally in turning your anger into a learning opportunity.

    Anger is like an alarm, that alerts us of something going on internally. If we’re willing to do a little bit of work, we can turn that anger into a learning experience. First, by asking ourselves what expectation has been unmet? or what caused me to feel that way? Second, by tracing that feeling down to its root, to the best of our ability. Third, by asking the question, “Will I allow this person or situation control me? or am I going to acknowledge this emotion and work through it so that I act upon it not react to it.

    How does acting upon your emotions look like?

    Allow me to use a personal example, I work against the desire to create distance and isolate myself from me, from God, from others. Why? because my default is to isolate and distract myself. but I intentionally choose to use all my energy to stay present in the emotion that sometimes causes pain. Personally, I see it as a form of strength to pay attention to what God pays attention (The state of my heart) because I have learned that God manifests in our lives exactly where we are, He meets us right in the need of our hearts.

    So why waiting until you are not angry to look for him? He is not looking for a perfect performance, he is waiting for a real heart, yup!… and angry heart that it can be soften with his love.

    God is manifesting, right here, right now in this moment. in your life, will you allow him to turn your anger into a learning experience?

    I can remember his presence in the past, I can anticipate his presence in the future, but I can only be attentive to his presence right here, right now. Can you feel his presence?

    He is with you right now.

    If you read all the way through here, allow God to examine your heart and love on you as you discover for yourself healthy ways to deal with anger and keep on living your everyday like a holiday!

  • Seasons of grief.

    This year has been particularly different; in my 30 something years I have never lived such an eventful and a what in the world is happening Year. Literally everyday I read, watch or listen to something different, weird or crazier! To be honest sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and go back to the end of 2019 in El Salvador sitting by the infinity pool at our Hotel, drinking a fresh fruit juice, listening to my kids shouting, water splashing and dreaming, planning and chatting with my husband about 2020. Can you picture it? Because I can! And a lot of ideas, dreams and trips we had planned didn’t happened because of… (say with me) “Corona” *with a rolling eyes emoji*

    Lucca my 6 year old says it all the time and refers to the virus like it was a witch or a very mean person… “Oh that’s right, we can’t because of Corona” Ugh! Maybe when Corona leaves we will…”  Ha! I don’t say it exactly like that but I have found my self thinking the exact same way!

    Why do I share this? Because I have chosen to see the positive in everything, take the time to journal almost everyday starting with 3 things that I am thankful for and I have learned (the hard way!) to quickly fix my thoughts whenever I am feeling unmotivated or discouraged, choosing to enjoy my everyday and considering the circumstances and the physical losses this pandemic has brought to so many, personally and as a family we have learned so much, that I see this year as a year of awakening and rebuilding.

    BUT… I had to be honest with myself!

    Deep inside in the depths of my soul I was grieving, I had a feeling of loss, I didn’t  understand why!

    I will quickly compare situations and say to myself: I Haven’t lost anyone from my family, I still have a job, We are healthy, nothing has been lost, I will get it together and go on… But the feeling didn’t leave and as August arrived I had this thought in my mind: grief is healthy, grief is necessary.

    Grief is a natural response to loss. And I found myself journaling that first day of August on the emotional and physical things I had lost, not everything was negative, not everything was hurtful but It was a loss and I had to deal with it once I was aware of it. Yes, you read it right: DEAL WITH IT.

    What I have learned in the past months has been key to my personal growth and emotional health and I pray it encourages you to evaluate or come back to this post whenever grief shows up at the door of your heart.

    Grief has the potential to teach us so much

    I live out of my head and since I am aware of it, I consciously and intentionally try to feed my head with scripture, books (Love audiobooks) and uplifting music, it truly works! What you think you end up feeling. so I have learned to fix my thoughts and wow! I start feeling better. But when God is nudging me in a specific area “When that feeling doesn’t leave” I know I have to look deep into my heart and that exercise for my choleric, #3 wing 1 personality is ummm… ANNOYING. Ha! Im been real here! 

    As I started savoring grief (like a 3 pack of Ferreros on your cheat day) kind of savoring, I knew I had to be honest. I was grieving the year I had envisioned and carefully put into God’s hand, grieving the trips I had patiently saved and waited for years to be able to make. I had to grief the friendships that were not longer friendships but simply beautiful people God put in my life for a season but a pandemic and a lack of “seeing each other” took away. 

    I had to combined both (my emotions and my thoughts) as a bucket and a shovel working together in the hands of a child collecting sand and to my surprise (combining both) has been the most beautiful gift this year has brought.

    My honest grief has connected me to the sufferings of my Savior, it has allowed me to experience his love on a deeper level.

    As I discovered that grief and loss was something I was dealing with, I started listening to my body, I had Less energy, less creativity and a sense of uncertainty that was not allowing me to dream so I took the decision to default in what I know helps and grounds me; like writing in my journal as tears come down, riding in my bicycle as I listened to instrumental music that allows me to think how I feel and doesn’t distract me with fun beats and “man made” lyrics and I experienced something: “I can be sad with Jesus”

    He is with me in every season, in every little detail of my life and as He held my hand during this discovery, He whispered: “There has been things you have lost but you will never loose me” 

    Here’s the thing: every loss is valid And every loss is not the same so don’t try to compare yours to other people’s losses.

    Grief needs to be honored and heard without being dismissed. It could be the death of someone, a heartbreak, the loss of a job, a life-altering loss that changes your everyday  not better, not worse simply not the same, a miscarriage, re-location, a birth and the loss of the no-child freedom lifestyle, a divorce… you name it! We need to honor it.

    When you choose to find meaning and growth in your loss it becomes a personal experience between you and God. See, grief is not a problem to be solved; it’s an experience to be carried. Identify what has changed and be present, allowing God to teach and guide you to build again with out the person, the thing or the situation. That quiet inner observation has taught me to understand & see grief in a whole new way.

    This year we all have lost something call it stability, passion, rhythm, disciplines, a change of heart, commitments or heavy losses as the passing of a loved one, a relationship, a friendship, our health, peace… whatever you have lost this year just remember that  “wind stress is necessary for the healthy growth of a tree, a tree bends and sways gracefully when the wind blows against it. It does not stand rigid, resisting the flow of energy. It does not push back. The tree accepts the strong wind as a blessing that helps it grow”

    Circumstances are like a moving river, always changing and always shifting so embrace the shift and choose to live one day at a time using the gift of acceptance as the motor that feeds your soul. These experiences develop our character and deepen our spiritual roots. When we grow deep, we too, get to stand tall.

    As Martin Luther king Jr said: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that . Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” So, too, resistance to the reality of a loss cannot drive out resistance; only acceptance can do that.

    I want to motivate you to Yield to God and put a name to the pain or the loss you have experienced, He understands you and me in ways that no human being can… and the truth is that we (You and me) need him desperately to rebuild what 2020 took away. Can you hear his sweet voice as He whispers: “there has been things you have lost but you will never loose me?”

    Summer is a season (not a reward) As winter is a season (not a punishment).

    If you are in a winter season embrace it. There are lessons to be learned & beauty to be found right where you are, “In the midst of your winter”.

  • RISE UP!

    July 30th is such a special day is my sister in Law’s bday a special women of God that has been a blessing to my family.

    It is also the World Day Against Sex Trafficking but… did you see it on google? I mean, every time I search for something there is a sign with a national day reminder, donut day, hot dog day and other none relevant national days but something as REAL and CLEAR as sex trafficking was not even mentioned and that is just one quick example that I kept on thinking about today as I meditated on this truth. KIDS ARE BEING SOLD AND ABUSED, PEOPLE ARE PAYING FOR THEM AND ABUSING THEM.

    1 out of 5 pornographic images is of a child, pornography is a 3 BILLION dollar industry and THE U.S. is the #1 both consumer and producer of child pornography and why is this not being shared EVERYDAY in the news?

    Ask yourself and please research why.

    It breaks my heart, I get a knot in my stomach and Gosh! I feel so impotent because this is happening everyday at every hour and in every state. Honestly this is a real pandemic, a big elephant in the room that very few are willing to speak about.

    I am a mom, a Kid’s and youth Pastor and I feel responsible to speak about this subject, why? because research shows that 34% of children ages 10 to 17 have received unwanted exposure to sexual material in their own homes! and in 82% of online sex crimes, the offender used the victims social networking site to gain information about the victims and their whereabouts at specific times.

    kids are being groomed and exposed to pornography and the predators inside our own homes, with our own electronic devices and the wi-fi we pay for.

    Parents, Leaders, Adults: We need to do something, we cannot stay quiet scrolling to social media posts and documentaries while our kids are being abandoned in their own electronic devices while being entertained by the media, YouTube videos and online games that based in all of those documentaries are proven to be the #1 method predators are using today to hurt our children.

    This is real and it can happen in our homes. KIDS ARE BEING EXPOSED and in some cases the first image, a video or conversation happened through the internet while searching for something or an unsupervised online game.

    WE NEED TO WAKE UP!

    Little lives (including my own) are today depending on a voice to raise up, speak up, search for ways to speak the truth to our own kids and create change in the circle of influence that we have.

    It is not a coincidence that about 3 months ago I read the book of Elizabeth Smart . I came across an interview she did where she explained that she was kidnapped from her own home, her parents were sleeping, she was in her room with her sister and her kidnappers took her from her own home and was held captive for 9 months.  I couldn’t help but buy the book that same day and read it in a week. (It is worth the read)  Her story opened my eyes to Pedophilia which is a disorder as the DSM 5 defines it and studies show that an estimated 20 percent of American children have been sexually molested, making pedophilia a common paraphilia (Abnormal sexual desires) and the  offenders are usually family friends or relatives.

    PEDOPHILIA IS NOT A SEXUAL ORIENTATION and the offenders need to be held accountable.

    Let’s stop pretending that sexual exploitation is happening rarely or that it doesn’t exist at all. Let’s commit and use our voices AT HOME and in our circle of influence to raise up, open our eyes, ask uncomfortable questions, speak up if you see anything inappropriate and get informed.

    Here is a video https://youtu.be/YK3bcZMwQxU  I saw that was recorded on February of this year, their stories wrecked me and the reality is that it can be someone we know! Please do me a favor and watch it until the end; their stories are extraordinary.

    Lastly take all of this to God and ask him for clear instructions. SEX TRAFFICKING should matter to all of us and I pray God uses you to bring awareness and make the difference in your circle.

    Here are some accounts on IG that I am following for information and support:

    @ourrescue , @A21, @enditmovement, @Fightthenewdrug

    Parents, Leaders and Adults: It is time to RAISE UP!

    -Stephany

     

     

  • When Kids Hurt.

    This month I started reading a book called: “When Kids hurt” by Chap Clark & Steve Rabey. As I was reading, I couldn’t help but cry. The loneliness, abandonment and pain our kids and teens are going through is unimanigable.

    I have been in ministry specifically working with Kids and youth for the past 17 years and working directly with a recovery program for adults for the past 6 yrs. and I have listened to hundreds Yes, hundreds of stories related to sexual abuse, which is real, happens everyday and most of the kids are so scared and confused that use their own coping mechanisms to deal with their trauma before they decide to talk (Usually when they are adults) and very few get help, real help that allows them to heal and restore their minds and souls to trust, love and live in a healthy way.

    This is not something new. As you are reading you might be the one who has faced  physical or sexual abuse or know people that have gone through it. With the recent news of child sex trafficking, sexual abuse, Kids being kidnapped, documentaries and recent arrests not only that has brought you pain and a desire to do something about it but to some, it has brought memories and triggered fear and anger again.

    I want you to know that you are not alone.

    Read it again, You are not alone.

    If emotions have started to come up again, attitudes and in some cases rage to even go back to those moments please share how you feel with someone you trust, ask for help but don’t stay quiet. If you don’t have anyone to talk to please reach out to me, I can connect you with the right tools to find healing and restoration BUT PLEASE DO NOT STAY QUIET.

    Since the stories started coming out, I’ve had a knot in my stomach because this is real, this has been happening and still happens as I am writing this and you reading it. KIDS are being abused.

    I Thank God that all of the recent news and posts  have given so much exposure on the topic of sex trafficking and has become an open conversation  for many but there’s something that hasn’t leave my heart and I want to share it with you.

    The majority of kids being abused are not being shipped in boxes, taken away from their families or being kidnapped (that is another post that I will talk about very soon because child sex trafficking is a reality and we need to talk about it starting at home and church, also there are key people with power that need to hold accountable) 

    Child Sexual abuse is happening in our own homes. A family member, a weird uncle or cousin, a baby sitter, a leader parents trusted. Most of the people I have talked to throughout the years were not abused by a celebrity or a stranger, it happened (And to some started) in their own homes, the place that was supposed to be safe.

    And this thought hasn’t left my heart: part of saving the children is teaching my own at home. Putting boundaries, open dialogue, naming body parts with their real names, reminding them that at our house we don’t keep secrets and safe adults (I repeat) SAFE adults don’t ask kids to keep secrets and learn to recognize people and situations that are not safe, pornography exposure and equip them to know how to react and be loud when something like that happens.

    I am so thankful for books like “When kids hurt” or The “I said no! book” for little ones. These books voice out what as a parent I want to tell my kids and sometimes I just don’t know how.

    Our job as parents is to equip our kids and BE there for them. look at their faces, notice their change of routine, the way they act and react over something and EVERYTHING they are watching, following and sharing. Unfortunately sometimes we are just too busy.

    Part of saving the children is being present, all heart, all eyes and ears.

    I am going to be very honest, I found my self crying over my pillow a few nights ago out of frustration reading the horrendous stories circulating and the truth that I have very little control of it and God reminded me: It’s happening at homes right now and this virus (isolation) is not helping at all. BE LOUD, speak about it and rest in me.

    The reality is that we cannot control what is happening around the world, we cannot control what the news are saying or not willing to say (ugh! that’s another post) But what I can control is: How to respond to fear, my thoughts, my beliefs, how I react to media, what I allow in my mind, my attitude and how I choose to help others.

    Part of living our Everyday a Holiday is being mindful of what is happening around us, taking time to read, learn and have meaningful conversations especially with our little ones;  Today I want to encourage you to be mindful. and ask yourself: What can I do today?

    Sharing your story perhaps?

    Asking someone you know that has dealt with abuse how are they feeling?

    Confessing to someone you trust what has happened to you?

    Praying to God for wisdom and discernment regarding your children?

    Putting boundaries at home, get resources?

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  and kids are being hurt, and they also need to know that they are not alone.

    Let’s commit to spend time with God and ask him for instructions, Let’s stop acting in fear and speak up (yes! starting at home), Let’s stop investing our time in the lies the media is feeding us and let’s invite Jesus into our daily lives and remind ourselves the authority we have in him.

    Lastly, let’s remember  what Jesus said: “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father, You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father”  Jhon 14:13

    Speak to him, He will instruct you, you just need to choose to have an obedient heart and rest in him. He was, is and will always be there for us, our kids and the kids that today are being hurt.

    Stephany.

  • Today is a good day to start over!

    Nothing better than a slow morning! I cannot believe I am writing it with so much joy and excitement.  I was addicted to rush, busyness and efficency and a “slow morning” was not an option in my mind but today I can truly say that I love my slow in solitude mornings!

    That is why everyday a Holiday has changed my life forever it has become a daily practice, a lifestyle that has allowed me to enjoy my days and live one day at a time. Is it easy? NO!!! But I am committed to make it a DAILY PRACTICE and that is exactly what I want to share with you.

    We are surrounded by information, anything we want to know is literally at the palm of our hands but let’s be honest if we measure the amount of information vs. what we put into practice, we can all agree in one reality: We lack Action! I have been meditating about this and Mathew 7:24 came to my mind “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice”

    What are you putting to practice?

    The reality is that the tie between information and action has been severed. Neil Postman said: “Information is now a commodity that can be bought and sold, or used as a form of entertainment, or worn like a garment to enhance one’s status. It comes indiscriminately, directed at no one in particular, disconnected from usefulness; we are glutted with information, drowning in information, have no control over it, don’t know what to do with it.”

    I have learned, that God’s mercies are renewed every morning which means that everyday we can start over. Less information more practice, Less talking and more doing, less sharing on social media and more talking to God.

    Start small.  (I’ll share some of mine but I encourage you to make your own list)

    • Look up, look at, look in.
    • Listen, absorb, ask questions.
    • Pay attention, take time to see and appreciate the people in front of you.
    • Choose to be present, breath in and out, appreciate what is around you.
    • Forgive, accept and dream, dream big.

    Despite everything that is going on around us, we can choose what we practice and those practices will influence our lives in a dramatic way!

    Today is a beautiful opportunity to start over, to start re-building our daily practices and not allow the amount of information paralyzed and accustomed us to live by default.  What have you been reading or learning lately?

    Put it into practice!  Today is a good day as any to begin again.

    Stephany

  • Living above the chaos

    It is so easy to start falling into the cracks of fear and animosity with everything  that is happening right now. To be honest If I could I will want to hide under my sheets, turn off the lights and sleep so hopefully when I wake up there are no more covid numbers raising, more people dying or constant questions with no answers. Basically not live just exist lol (that’s actually a Colombian saying)

    I realized that July became a trigger.

    At this time I should be ordering uniforms for the kids, going window shopping to all our favorite stores to see what are the options for backpacks and lunch boxes and getting our supply list ready to take advantage of the no tax weekend to buy everything ha! but instead I am sitting , writing (journaling how I feel) and honestly so confused and overwhelmed with the chaos and uncertainty we are living today. I have no idea how august will look like & that’s ok. (yes! I am constantly talking to myself) so I had to take action, It was affecting me and I had to do something about it. I took it to prayer, spoke to someone I trust (My accountability partner, Hi 🙂 & thank you!) and started to think about my thoughts.

    yes. THINK ABOUT WHAT I WAS THINKING!

    I read this quote from Morgan Harper Nichols that aligned me back into the right mindset:

    YOU ARE FREE TO KNOW PEACE NO MATTER YOUR UNCERTAINTY!

    What a powerful truth.

    God reminded me once again that I can take his hand and allow him to lead me in his path of peace and that his peace can cause my heart to sing in the middle of chaos that I can live and enjoy my everyday in the middle of what is going on around me.

    I have no control of what is happening but I have control of my thoughts and actions. I get to choose peace in the midst of chaos and that choice becomes my chance to trust God with what I cannot control while I grow in faith, patience and character.

    Allow me to extend an invitation to you:

    let’s choose his peace, let’s choose to live above the chaos and lets re-direct our thoughts daily. What am I thinking about most often? I started thinking about my thoughts and realized that the content I was putting in my mind was clearly feeding my fears so I had to give my mind nutritious content that will allow me to align my thoughts again.

    I replaced animosity with proximity (Healthy social distancing proximity ha!) and instead of closing off and trying to ignore the world (my defense mechanism) I made it a personal goal to call a friend not through text, or a DM but an actual call and that proximity that: How are you doing? made me feel so much better and allowed me to open up and also listen, LISTEN to other perspectives, to faith and to also laugh! I truly have the best of friends!

    It is a choice and it begins in our minds.

    “Every day, you have to stand guard at the door of your mind.”

    Today I choose to live above the chaos, embrace God’s peace and live my everyday a Holiday and tomorrow I have to choose to do it all over again.

    because, ONE DAY AT A TIME.

    Steph.

     

  • Pauses are necessary

    March 16, the Monday where everything changed at least for me and anyone that lives in South Florida. Quarentine began and Kids started virtual school and I started working from home, shopping malls and restaurants started to close and the streets started to look empty (ALL NEW, ALL DIFFERENT) but since day one I told my self, I won’t go back, I refused to go back to the obsessive, over achiever, perfectionist Stephany… and trust me (being home all day was the perfect invitation to do just that) but I knew I was going o drive myself and my family crazy!

    I decided to embrace the change and CONSIDER.

    Consider the best possible perspective for this season and the possibilities that will come with it. For me, Cooking more, exercise without rushing to get somewhere, read more, watch tv just for the fun of it, write and teach my kids new habits and new skills, I chose to consider the possibilities and embrace the pause.

    On my first journal entry I wrote: Stephany I am pausing you, pauses are necessary you are not going backwards you are pausing to reevaluate what you want to take to the next season, what is worth it.

    I was writing to myself, to my (I want to do it all and not waste time) self. and I started practicing what I have been learning this past years.

    I can make everyday a holiday without leaving my house, I can live one day at a time without fear of the future, I can embrace this pause and get to know my self and my family better. PAUSE to look into their eyes, count their freckles, enjoy the tone of their laughs, doodle and write ideas just to do it with no purpose or deadline behind it and innovate because this pause was forcing the world to stop depending from what the outside could offer and made us all look within.

    I am so thankful I did. I had so much time to stop and think, to stop and ask questions, be curious with myself and God.

    The reality is that must of us want to run from pauses because they make us feel like we are losing, not ahead, not improving but I want to invite you to re- consider.

    Pauses are necessary and sometimes they are forced but when you choose to consider your approach towards it, the way you feel about it and your attitude will change as well.

    You see a sickness but I see an opportunity to be loved, to allow God’s power to. heal, have meaningful conversations, an opportunity for your soul to awaken and your faith to grow.

    You see a divorce but I see resilience, restoration, growth, an opportunity to look within and heal.

    You see victim but I see a survivor that can use the pain to help others and find freedom and purpose in God, I see God’s justice. covering you and protecting you.

    You see isolation but I see a big opportunity to create, to learn something new, to rest physically, to evaluate, clean and decorate again.

    You see a newborn stage but I see about 60 days that will never ever comeback, I see a new discovery and view of life a way to love and be loved without words but instead with actions and sacrifices that sooner than later will be forgotten and replaced with laughs, confidence and hope.

    You see rejection because you were fired from your job but I see a brand new way of possibilities to do what you really like and enjoy, I see faith, ideas and reinvention.

    You see overweight but I see there is always today to start making better food choices, I see new friendships developing that will encourage you and not judge you, I see an opportunity to learn to love yourself well and put boundaries.

    What do you see?

    in the stage that you are in what do you see?

    Embrace this Pause and don’t allow yourself to get sidetracked, this world with it’s pace and it’s weight will always try to pull you away and make you feel you are not winning enough, getting enough, living enough.

    Today get back to focus and consider what is really worth it in life. There is a healing power in eye contact, a real conversation, a hug, a soul to soul connection a meaningful pause.

    Today choose to see the goodness and opportunities that are standing right in front of you. You can live your everyday a holiday today with quarantine or without it.  What do you see?

     

     

    Stephany 🙂

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Hello 2019!

     

    Wow! Its been a long time or maybe is not that long,  but to think that almost 3 months passed since my last post  sounds like a long time, but this is the beauty of everyday a holiday,  there is no pressure, no timeline or perfect time to post is about sharing my heart and journey when I can and when I want, ‘The I don’t have to, instead is the “I get to” mindset.

    The past 3 months have been pretty amazing, I haven’t been lost, I’ve actually been present. personally I experienced some of the most beautiful moments with my family and in ministry; the season came and passed by so fast but I was able to savor each moment and take little breaks between the meetings, the outings, the gatherings to just stop, smile and see what God has done.

    For many years I lived rushed running from one side to another trying to finish a lot of things at the same time trying to be efficient and check with a smile my daily To-do’s and that left me exhausted physically and emotionally. but 2018 was so different, so enjoyable… same drama lol more responsibility and bigger challenges but so much joy in the between that I can say I cherished every moment. What a Year!

    I just want to encourage you to enjoy your everyday and enjoy to the max the people God has placed in your life.

    Today you can focus in the mess of your room or your kids rooms (I’m guilty of that) or notice the way their eyes sparkle when you speak to them with love or the way it feels when you intentionally and with no pressure take time to put your favorite playlist out loud put on your oldest t-shirt (the one with holes) and clean not out of desperation but instead with admiration and a thankful heart for the space and things God has given you.

    Today you can begin again and start a new mindset of enjoying your everyday, time passes by whether we like it or not, hardship will come whether we like it or not, consequences to bad decisions can follow us for months or maybe years… But HIS MERCY is renewed every morning. You and I can begin everyday with a fresh new start and perspective.

    This year I am not putting all my attention in agendas, high standards and timelines and focusing more in my thoughts, my efforts, what I hope for and who I want to become. Instead of expecting “people” to change I am anticipating growth, celebrating victories and to be an encourager and a cheerleader of maturity and growth and not just CHANGE.

    Sometimes we think that what we need is to change, but after so many years of trying to change things about my self and people (guilty of that too) I have learned that change is based on circumstances and if the circumstances change then your “change” is temporary but maturity and growth stays with you permanently because is internal, is a process that changes the way you think because is rooted in a new mindset and lifestyle.

    This is the year to look in front of the mirror and say I see you and I love you, a year to wake up the little child dreamer inside of all of us and become the exact person God intended us to be, to grow, mature and walk in his grace.

    This year lets commit to feel the belly laugh from our souls,  to be intentional in our relationships, to say thank you, I love you and I am sorry more often, to feel the sun on our faces and accept our present and enjoy it, lets not miss the joy of being alive.

    Welcome 2019! we can do this.

    Love,  Stephany

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • The beauty of changes in seasons

    The month of October is a very special month, not only is the month of cancer awareness, but is also the anniversary of a woman I love and admired deeply.

    Irene was a women of faith that lived what she preached, loved unconditionally and served selflessly to anyone that will cross her path,  she had a heart of Gold and I am sure anyone can say that easily.

    There is no one better than one of her beautiful daughters to share her experience and honor her on this special day. She was a warrior, a beautiful women inside and out, she left a Legacy and She will  live in our hearts and minds forever!

    God is going to speak to you!  Enjoy.

     

     

    There are months or seasons in the year that one looks forward to and prepares for with anticipation. Personally, I think Christmas is the best time of the year and I bet for many others as well. When November 1st comes around, my Christmas tree will be up and running (say Amen, if you’re with me). For others, it may be Spring or Summer where the changes in temperature, scenery, and seasons start transitioning and coming to life. Oh, the beauty of the changes in seasons!

    When thinking about the changes in seasons, October has somewhat of a different effect on me compared to what I described above. Many emotions, thoughts, and memories surface at a heightened level every year. Many good and others not so great. October 7th, 2015 was the day that changed everything for me when my beloved mother was called to our promised heavenly home. After fervent prayers, three surgeries, many rounds of chemotherapy, radiation sessions, countless hospitalizations, sleepless nights, inexplicable pain, and eventually the inability to walk or eat, she was called to rest in peace.

    For those of you who didn’t get the privilege to meet my mom Irene, you would have loved this amazing human being. Just so you have an idea: she was the friend who would fill your refrigerator when you didn’t have money for groceries; she was the woman who would put her kids to sleep in the same room for months at a time to open up a room for someone in need; she was the daughter who would call her parents consistently and honor them with actions and words despite whatever happened in the past; she was the mother who was not always present, but when she was, she was intentional; she was the wife who supported, motivated, and complemented my dad; she was the sister who knitted the family together and who was a best friend to each sibling; she was an exceptional servant of the Lord and of others no matter the request; she was the patient who when asked by doctors or friends how she was feeling, she would say “I’m doing well thank God”; and one of the most memorable qualities was her great sense of humor that made everyone chuckle with her sayings, imitations of people, and different accents. She would seriously make me laugh even when she was mad and venting with me. Writing all this makes me miss her even more.

    Despite the belief of seeing our loved ones again in Heaven, as we go through these moments of loss, people are often quick to respond with “everything happens for a reason” or “it’s the Lord’s will.” The fact of the matter is that loss IS loss, and not one person experiencing this cares for the reason why their loved one has been taken. They only care that the person they are losing, is not going to physically be there on birthdays, holidays, in life’s celebratory moments, on family vacations, or be a phone call away. Singing “Holy, Holy is our God almighty” is not always going to make things feel better in those times, and that IS ok because grief is a real thing and the Lord is walking us through it – even though it may not feel like it at the moment. There is a season for everything as we have learned through Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 (ESV), and we must learn how to navigate each and every one of those seasons.

    Before my mom’s passing, I firmly believed and declared my mom’s miracle was around the corner while praying tirelessly for victory over the cancer that was in her body. Little did I know, there would be a shift in me that led to a spiritual dry season after she was called home. The unanswered questions, anger, frustration, feelings of betrayal, and doubts that I experienced were constantly battling with my rooted faith in Christ. I would ask: “Why did a woman of God like my mom have to go through all this pain and suffering?”, “Lord, if by your stripes we are healed, why didn’t you heal my mom who had so much faith and love for you?”, and last “Why my mom Lord?” These are all questions that come to mind at times, yet, as time passes the Lord continues to work and bring about healing. People say that things will get easier, but, that is not necessarily true. The Lord equips us to better handle living life without our loved ones as He begins replacing negative memories that tend to overwhelm our minds, with happy moments we had before the illness struck or the loss occurred. One of these beautiful memories include me taking road trips with her to Tampa to see family and go outlet-shopping (a mother-daughter tradition I didn’t know we had until now).

    In the past few weeks I have been reading the books of Timothy where we see how Paul was facing imminent death. All the while, Paul was preparing the terrain, encouraging, and affirming Timothy to carry on the ministry and faithfully guard the gospel Jesus left. The words legacy, contentment, and gratitude kept popping up as I meditated and prayed in my quiet times with God. In 2 Timothy 1:5, after Paul opens his letter with a greeting to Timothy, he writes: I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.”(ESV) This simple verse that may not have meant anything to me four or five years ago, meant the world to me and broke me down into tears. The Lord was revealing to me the power a legacy has in transcending, impacting, and influencing future generations. He was reminding me that just as Jesus left a legacy for Paul to follow and pass along to Timothy, my mother also left a legacy that inevitably dwells in me for me to continue living and sharing with others. The legacy my mom left of loving your neighbor, honoring your parents, being a virtuous woman, forgiving others, being grateful, and being joyful are all ones that I saw and experienced firsthand while growing up. He then led me back to 1 Timothy 6:6-7 where Paul wrote: But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.”(ESV)  I was once again reminded that:

    legacy is not just the inheritance of material things, but most importantly, the impact they left on this earth and passed along to us so that we may continue the deed.

    All this to say, although we will each enter, come across, and journey through different seasons in life, every season is an opportunity for us to be refined in order to ultimately glorify our Father and become more like Christ. Whatever the legacy you’re left with (good or bad), remember that God gives us the option to transform it, improve it, and/or carry it along.

    Oh, the beauty of the changes in seasons!

    Joann Jackson